....for the last few weeks I have been really looking forward to this weekend. I am sitting alone in a hotel room right now, getting ready for an auction. I am excited about the treasures that await me today, but I was even more excited about getting a break from the craziness that is my life...
...what I craved the most was quiet....silence. What I didn't count on was that when surrounded by silence, I would no longer be able to ignore my own thoughts. It's an uncomfortable place, but one that I need to be in. I have heard more and said more in the last 12 hours of silince, than I have in years...
...the conclusions that I have come to are scary, they require an action, something to change. More than the fear of what I need to do is the cripling thought that I will do nothing. The idea that I will wake up next month, next year and still be the same is terrifying.
...I am really good at excuses, at reasons why I can't do the right thing, be the person that I know should be. I have lists of them, but in the quiet of the night I realize that they are just that, excuses.
...I don't know where I go from here, but I am open...
1 comment:
Heather, I completely understand the moments of silence. I seem to rather live in silence, but like you, once I get there it becomes a very scary thing. I have found my own self surrounded by many people, however, my mind has not been there. I keep asking myself where am I and what is my purpose. the quietness is an akward thing, but we all need that time for God to intervene. And then life becomes even more amzing, when we are in His will. Love ya Heather!!!
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