Let's be honest, we all do. Have you ever wondered if they know they smell. Can't they smell themselves? I once had the unenviable task of telling an employee that he smelled. I was getting complaints from his coworkers and even some customers about the body odor that seemed to seep from his pores and something had to be done. Henry*(name has been changed for confidentiality purposes) was a really sweet young guy that was a hard worker. He was just a bit strange, some might have even called him weird, but aren't we all. He was exceptionally smart, fluent in Japanese and Spanish and read constantly but did not have the common sense to come in out of the rain.
Anyway, the bottom line is he smelled really bad. It was a combination of infrequent bathing and too little laundering and probably some other things. I am not a medical doctor, but I am sure there were some other issues there. So I get to talk to him about his personal hygiene and it's affect on the workplace. This happened several years ago, but I can still remember feeling so nervous and embarrassed for him. I was angry that I had to tell him. Didn't anyone love this poor guy enough to tell him. He lived at home with his parents. What kind of Mom lets their kid walk around funky? Either she had a major olfactory deficit, or she just didn't love him enough to tell him. Or maybe she loved him too much to tell him. Maybe she didn't want to hurt his feelings or embarrass him. Did she figure someone else would tell him and she wouldn't have to, that way she didn't have to be the bad guy? Had she been waiting for years for someone to finally get the courage to tell him what she couldn't?
I don't know the answer. I don't know why she never sat down and had that conversation with him. I also don't know why I haven't had that conversation with the people in my life that wreak of sin. The guy that I love like a son that stinks of alcohol and whatever bar he passed out in last. Why can't I tell him that what he is doing is wrong, that it his hurting not only him but those around him? Don't I love my other friend enough to tell her that she wreaks of hatred and grief. To tell her that people can smell the hurt coming from her so strongly that they can't stand to even be near her. I don't want to be the bad guy. I keep hoping someone else will tell them so I don't have to.
After having a talk with the guy at work, I realized that the answer to the question of don't they know they smell is simply NO. They don't know they do, or at least they don't know that anyone else thinks they do.
They just need to be told, but who is going to tell them?
1 comment:
You're on to something Heather, but one of the difficulties is that reality that people will only hear what they want to hear and will only believe what they want to believe. They have to be in a place where they're open to hearing before they can ever be convinced of anything--sin or stench.
Thanks for the thought-provoking post. Hope all is well.
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